Do you ever wonder why are you where you are? I do sometimes. I know that God has a plan for me and it includes many wonderful things. But, my plans and His plans don't always seem to mesh. Two examples:
My plan - get married and after a few years start a family. God's plan - give me a wonderful husband but having a child (so far) is not part of the plan. I don't know why we are unable to have a biological child - well, I take that back - I know what the doctors say about our chances of conception, but I don't know why God has said no. I feel pretty certain that my journey through infertility is so that I can be there for others on the same journey - certain enough that it is going to be my mission field.
My plan - go to college, get my degree in education and begin to teach. God's plan - go to college, get a degree in education and then place me in the local government. In case you don't know, I work for the county in the property appraisers office. You would be amazed at the way people talk to us and treat us in this office - especially since the real estate market is having such issues right now. I find it very hard to maintain an attitude of Grace some days. But, I have to believe that there is a reason that I am still here. I keep looking and hope that one of these days God will lead me to another position twhereI can show His Grace to those around me. Considering I started this career 16 years ago as a temporary thing until I could find a teaching position, I have to have faith that as unhappy as I can be at work sometimes, He will lead me to another job eventually.
Faith - what exactly is faith? It's giving thanks for something that hasn't occurred yet. That's a LOT easier said than done. Does that mean I have little faith (oh, me of little faith)? No, it just means that I am human and I want things done in human time. Reminds me of "Lord, give me patience and give it to me now." So, I struggle daily (sometimes hourly) with having faith and knowing that He only wants what's best for me. Just because I'm a Christian and saved doesn't mean that I am only going to have sunshine and roses in my life. It means that I don't have to travel this road alone. When it gets really difficult I have to know that there is an important lesson to be learned or my character is being strengthened.
So, WHY am I here? God only knows.
My plan - get married and after a few years start a family. God's plan - give me a wonderful husband but having a child (so far) is not part of the plan. I don't know why we are unable to have a biological child - well, I take that back - I know what the doctors say about our chances of conception, but I don't know why God has said no. I feel pretty certain that my journey through infertility is so that I can be there for others on the same journey - certain enough that it is going to be my mission field.
My plan - go to college, get my degree in education and begin to teach. God's plan - go to college, get a degree in education and then place me in the local government. In case you don't know, I work for the county in the property appraisers office. You would be amazed at the way people talk to us and treat us in this office - especially since the real estate market is having such issues right now. I find it very hard to maintain an attitude of Grace some days. But, I have to believe that there is a reason that I am still here. I keep looking and hope that one of these days God will lead me to another position twhereI can show His Grace to those around me. Considering I started this career 16 years ago as a temporary thing until I could find a teaching position, I have to have faith that as unhappy as I can be at work sometimes, He will lead me to another job eventually.
Faith - what exactly is faith? It's giving thanks for something that hasn't occurred yet. That's a LOT easier said than done. Does that mean I have little faith (oh, me of little faith)? No, it just means that I am human and I want things done in human time. Reminds me of "Lord, give me patience and give it to me now." So, I struggle daily (sometimes hourly) with having faith and knowing that He only wants what's best for me. Just because I'm a Christian and saved doesn't mean that I am only going to have sunshine and roses in my life. It means that I don't have to travel this road alone. When it gets really difficult I have to know that there is an important lesson to be learned or my character is being strengthened.
So, WHY am I here? God only knows.
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